Shopping for a good sex toy can be confusing. The options are numerous and—let’s be honest—kind of intimidating. How many speeds does a vibrator need? Should you get a silicone toy or one covered in gold? What kind of shape would be best?
At the end of the day, your body is unique and your preferences will be too—but there’s no way to know what you like until you’ve taken a few toys for a spin. With that in mind, I was curious to learn which toys had earned places of honor in the nightstand drawers of the experts—sex writers and educators who have a firm grasp (sorry) of what the market has to offer.
There was only one thing left to do: Reach out to these experts and ask—politely—which products get them off.
The resulting list includes items that can be enjoyed by all kinds of bodies and sexual preferences—although most of our conversations centered around the female body. Whether you want something pretty or functional, internal or external, vibrating or still, these experts have a pick that might pique your fancy. And if there’s nothing for you here, that’s okay, too—after all, when it comes to knowing what makes your body feel good, there’s no greater expert than you.
Senior Sex & Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan.com
"After years of writing about sex toys, my favorite is still the Je Joue Mimi. It’s a small, soft external vibrator ideal for clitoral stimulation. A good vibrator should have three things: a silky, body-safe silicone exterior; a rechargeable battery; and a wide range of speeds and powers. The Mimi has all three. The vibrations range from a slow, subtle hum to an intense rumble—plus the shape is really easy to maneuver, making it perfect to experiment for a beginner. Investing in this is investing in orgasms for years to come."
"My sex toy collection has begun gathering dust since Dame Products introduced Fin. It is a small vibrator that attaches to your fingers with a strap. It basically becomes a part of your hand making it ideal for both clitoral stimulation during couple's play as well as solo play.
Fin comes in neutral colors and is quite small, making it both non-threatening to a sex partner and perfect for travel."
Writer and NSFW Editor at Autostraddle.com
"I don’t believe in favorites, not among people and not among sex toys, but right now the toy with which I’m obsessed is the Crave Vesper (in gold). It’s a classic-shaped bullet vibe that looks like a classy bullet-shaped necklace. For its size and its almost-but-not-quite gimmicky—excuse me—vibes, it’s surprisingly rumbly and powerful. And it’s the only vibrator I’ve tried yet that I’ve found deeply affirming of both my personal brand and my clit."
Store manager and sex educator at Good Vibrations
"I love Uberlube, and I think it will forever and always make any type of sex better (except where there are other silicone toys involved because silicone + silicone is a no-go). Lube makes sex more comfy and body parts glide more easily, particularly during longer play times. Uberlube is particularly slick—it just feels sexy—and great for someone who has more sensitive skin. Not only do I use Uberlube for sexy times but also to make my hair shinier, to reduce chub rub, and to keep my tattoos looking bright and fresh!"
Co-writer and artist at Oh Joy Sex Toy webcomic (NSFW)
"My favorite toy is the Doxy with a close second being the Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable because they both have lovely large heads that cover so much surface area of the vulva to really distribute their vibration across as much area as possible, plus their vibe strength is phenomenal.
When I'm looking for a gentler experience or I need a toy that'll fit in my luggage while I'm traveling, the Mystic Wand by Vibratex is my go-to. It has a really large head that covers lots of surface area (as opposed to a smaller head that laser-focuses on one specific spot) and despite its size its vibrations are surprisingly strong and rumbly.
Dildo-wise, my most top favorite is the Bandit by Vixen Creations. The silicone has a lovely, soft "give" to it on the outside, with a firmer, inner core on the inside."
Co-writer at Oh Joy Sex Toy webcomic (NSFW)
"Personally, my current favorite sex toy has to be the Blewit. I'm a big fan of how it looks—fancy and futuristic! It's not too big for an averagely-endowed guy, is androgynous, and feels pretty darn good on my willy! It also comes with a nifty little pressure switch that keeps it interesting.
For butts, nothing beats an njoy pure plug. It's a hefty metal butt plug that feels REALLY wonderful. It comes in three sizes, is curved, smooth and looks hella elegant. After 4-5 years of reviewing sex toys, we've yet to find a butt plug that feels as good, or makes you feel as classy. Everyone should own one."
Sex blogger at Sugar C.
"The Doxy Die Cast is one of my absolute favorite toys. I prefer broad stimulation and a lot of power, and those are exactly what the Die Cast was made for. It has more RPMs than a Hitachi, and unlike the original Doxy wand, the Die Cast has a silicone head, which helps me achieve the firm pressure I crave with less effort than I have to use with a squishy toy. The motor is double-weighted, so if you have tried an original Doxy and find that its buzziness numbs you (as I did), you might have better luck with a Die Cast. It isn't the most financially accessible toy, but OMG, I love this thing so much, and highly recommend it to wand enthusiasts and power fans."