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Instead of annoying your enemies with a glitter bomb, why not confuse them with the most unsettling thing imaginable? For a not-so-nominal fee of $9.95, Mail a Spud will write your recipients address on a potato, put stamps on it, and ship it via the United States Postal Service. In a matter of days, your victim will find your ominous, starchy gift in their mailbox.
As strange as it sounds, the USPS will mail a potato without any packaging at all. Don't worry, this won't put you in hot water: As long as it's properly stamped, that spud's taking a trip to Wyoming, Wisconsin, or wherever you want it to go.
For a more personalized potato experience, customers can also add a Tweet-sized message to the skin of the tater. True renegade potato mailers, however, will likely prefer the surreality of a russet sans explanation.
What is the purpose of this, you ask? Well, according to the Mail a Spud FAQ, the answer is "why the hell not?" Potatoes are delicious, after all, and they're built well enough to handle the wear-and-tear of a cross-country trip.
"But," you're wondering, "couldn't I just put stamps on my own potato and mail it myself for a fraction of the cost?" Sure, you could do that. In fact, you can do pretty much anything you set your mind to. It just so happens that some people have put their minds toward building an online mail-a-potato empire. So why deny them that?
Speaking of which, the Mail a Spud "About Us" page provides an eerie lack of information: The only words on the page are "Who are we?" It is unclear whether this is simply a webpage under construction or a philosophical inquiry that none of us is equipped to answer.
What is clear, however, is this: The people behind Mail a Spud are real. And they're out there. And you can hire them to mail a potato for you.
Keep your eyes peeled.