Sneakily drink wine anywhere? I'm in.
By clicking one of our links you're supporting our labs and our independence, as we may earn a small share of revenue. Recommendations are separate from any business incentives.
There are many things I love in this world: clothes, coffee, barre class, handbags, wine, the list goes on. That’s why I was pleased to find an item that combined the last two things on that list: handbags and wine. That’s right. Someone went and created a handbag that dispenses wine. It’s like the maker of this bag somehow got inside my brain and made me the best gift ever. Who are you and how did you get inside my head? Are you human?
The PortoVino wine bag honestly might be the best thing I’ve discovered in years. On the outside, it appears like your average everyday leather handbag. But on the inside, it’s got a ‘party pouch’ that holds 2 bottles of wine in an insulated zipper pocket. That means you can carry all the stuff you normally would in a bag – but also carry wine. It’s a miracle! It’s a dream! And it’s only $74.95.
In the proudest moment of my career so far, I was #blessed with the opportunity to try out this bag. After receiving it in the mail, I skipped right out of my office doors with the PortoVino resting proudly on my shoulder and back flipped down the street to the liquor store where I bought two bottles of Sauvignon Blanc to pour into the bag.
Let’s talk about what happened next.
At the bottom corner of the ‘party pouch’ is the spout where the wine is dispensed. All you have to do is take off the spout, pour the wine in, and put the spout back on. This seems simple, but with one wrong move you could spill wine everywhere. That’s why I read the instructions very carefully while doing this.
After the spout was back on and secure, I put the pouch into the zippered insulated pocket inside the bag. The pouch has to be positioned correctly when you put it in so it can pop out of the hole in the bottom corner of the bag. This took a few tries, but eventually I did it correctly. #Science.
Now for the scary part: getting the spout to work without destroying it. This involved removing some of the plastic around the dispenser. I had two friends with me and it took the three of us ten minutes to not mess this up. Mission: not impossible, but kind of confusing.
Finally, the bag was ready for it’s drinking debut! I held a cup under the spout, pushed up on the handles, and out came the wine.
After I was done, I pushed the spout back into the hole and snapped the cover over it. With the ‘party pouch’ fully inside the bag, you would never know it dispenses wine. Game-changer.
I brought the bag to a gathering at a friend’s house and multiple people actually shrieked with excitement when they saw me pour wine into a cup from what they thought was a regular every day bag. They asked if I would share, so I let two other people in on the fun.
My first couple glasses of wine were great, but after a while, I could tell the wine was losing it’s cool. I realized I was going to have to hurry this party up if I didn’t want to waste a whole bunch of wine, so I started drinking quickly, no big deal.
By the time I got to my next glass, though, the wine was room temperature. And after that, the wine was so warm it tasted pretty bad.
I would say the insulated pouch kept the wine chilled for maybe 30 minutes. This would definitely not keep me from buying the bag. I would just be wary about pouring 2 bottles of wine in the pouch for yourself and two friends to finish in under an hour (of course this depends on how drunk you're trying to get, though).
The signature PortoVino comes in three colors: red, black, and blue. The red and blue bags have black straps, while the black bag’s straps are brown.
The most surprising thing about the PortoVino bag was that it was nicely made. The leather makes the bag look and feel like a nice handbag you’d find at a retail store, and when the spout is tucked inside the bag, you can’t even tell it has a compartment for wine inside.
In addition to the signature leather bag, there is also an adorable striped PortoVino beach bag that retails for $39.95. This is the one I want to buy (in other words, this is the bag I WILL buy). It’s super cute and can totally be used as a casual every day tote bag even when not at the beach. This bag comes in blue and white stripes and red and white stripes.
Yas queen. Why are you even still reading this article? You should be knee deep in the checkout page on Amazon.
I would honestly use both of these bags WITHOUT wine inside. Having the ability to stick a pouch of wine that you can dispense into cups from your purse is really just a plus. Props to PortoVino for making two different bags that totally work. Now you just have to make more. Maybe a phone case that dispenses wine? How bout dat?
Sign up for our newsletter to get real advice from real experts.